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We take our hats off to you, mums! Especially when you’re sleep deprived.
One, because we know how much you’re dealing with and, two, for sharing your confessions for our entertainment!
Here’s the top 10 confessions from mums who really just need a few more hours of shut-eye to function as a regular human being.
1. “I kept trying to open the front door of my house by pressing the unlock button of my car key.” (Admittedly, this one may apply for tired humans in general.)
2. “I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and was surprised to find I felt warm and wet. Turns out I was so tired that I was peeing on the couch instead of in the toilet. I had literally pulled down my pants, sat down on the couch, and started peeing as if I were on the toilet. I just added that to the list of bodily fluids I had to clean up that night.”
3. “I was so tired I forgot our son’s name. I gestured to the monitor and asked my husband, ‘How’s what’s-his-face doing?'”
4. “During my first month as a new mum I texted my husband (who was in bed next to me) to ask him where he was.”
5. “I filled a sippy with milk and handed it to the dog. When he didn’t take it I got annoyed and said, ‘Well? Here you go!’ It took me a full five seconds to realise he wasn’t the 2-year-old.”
6. “After a long night I had to run to the chemist. I sat at a red light for what seemed like forever — I even swore at a car that honked at me — until I realised it wasn’t a red light. It was a stop sign.”
7. “After pumping milk at 3am. I walked into the kitchen and dumped it all down the drain. I screamed the second I realised what I did. I’d gone into zombie-cleaning mode without thinking.”
8. “In the middle of the night I tried to change my daughter, but ended up putting a clean nappy on over the dirty one.”
9. “I made coffee without any coffee grinds. It wasn’t until the second sip that I realised I was just drinking hot water.”
10. “My oldest wasn’t even two when I had my second child. That first week was a blur. One night I got up to feed the baby and heard snoring as I walked past the kitchen. Turns out I’d forgotten to take the older one out of her high chair and she’d fallen asleep, using her spaghetti as a pillow.”
And for your baby bonus quote:
“I tried to hug the guy who came to set up our internet as he was leaving. I was so tired and used to hugging visitors when they left. He looked at me like I was nuts.”