Each fortnight, Bec and Jeziel have the pleasure of having Clinical Psychologist Janice Dommisse in the building to share her professional advice.
She wanted to discuss the importance of setting boundaries and what the bible tells us. When someone does or says something that makes you uncomfortable, it means they are crossing your boundary. “I would say it’s running along the vagus nerve down the throat and into the stomach. You get that corridor down the throat and into the stomach. Feeling like, hang on something is not right.” You may feel a lump in you throat, heavy chest or a sinking feeling in your stomach.
“ Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ..” – Galatians 6:2
“Every man must carry his own load.” – Galatians 6:5
These verses may seem conflicting but they both hold truth in different circumstances. Bearing one another’s burdens is important to build a sense of community. When someone is going through a hard time everyone does what they can to help. “That is how we build community and its very important for our mental health.” But as individuals we are each responsible for our development in this world. So sometimes helping someone too much can actually harm them in the long run because they are building resilience. In this situation listen to your vagus nerve if you feel resistance then pull back.
“Go with your vagus nerve, it will tell you if you have the urge to help. When someone is not carrying their own load you feel resistant to helping them. The mistake we can make is feeling guilty. I don’t want to help but scripture says you need to help. But you are actually not helping them in the long run because they don’t have the opportunity to grow through pain.”