Each fortnight we have the ladies from Masters Psychology pop in for a chat, today we have Clinical Psychologist and Managing Director of Masters Psychology Rochelle Masters in the studio teaching us the keys to a lasting relationship.
1. Write a relational vision – together. put it on the fridge, read it together.
2. Settle our fears. There are two main fears Rochelle sees in the clinic. People are afraid of being alone or are afraid of being close, even when in a relationship. Then people pull back by finding fault, through power struggles and staying distracted to avoid those fears.
3. Find a balance between autonomy and closeness. You and your partner will need different amounts of alone time and together time. You’ll need to find out how much each other needs and work on finding a balance between you both.
4. Resolve entanglements. Entanglements are usually characterised by neediness or incompleteness without the partner. A healthy relationship is when two wholes come together.
5. Set meaningful agreements. Relationships need to be willing to embrace change and be agile enough to having meaningful agreements. Rochelle shares an example of her and her husband. “My husband agreed to take out the bins. They need to be out 6am on Monday morning. After a while he started to forget. Now, we could have an argument about the bins but its not really about the bins, it’s about following through with what we say – so I should say that. I need to be intentional with my words.”
6. Develop healthy intimacy.
Most people that come into the clinic have trouble with communication and conflict resolutions. Whether you are already married or thinking about marriage, Rochelle encourages us to have conversations with our partners about each of these keys.
If you or someone you know is really struggling with in their relationship visit a GP and tell them there is stress in that area and they can point you in the right direction.
Listen to the full chat below: