As parents we’re often tempted to say “…just get out of the way, I’ll do it for you it’ll be so much easier…”
Graham Irvine from Riverview Church joins Mike to chat about the importance of contributing and the consequences of not.
Graham says he never paid his children to do their chores. “We’re all apart of the family, no one pays mum and dad to do chores around the house. Over the last little while, I’ve realised how important it is for children to contribute to the home. Not just for the literal contribute, but for the sense of contribution.”
Why is something valuable?
We look at the price people are willing to pay for things, there’s a sense of contribution that that item makes to its community. The family is the smallest community we’re apart of. So when a child or someone else in the family contributes, it adds value to that person and gives them a sense of worth and value.
A child’s sense of worth and value comes from them feeling like they contribute to their community.
but what if my child says “nope.” and they’re challenging mum and dad?
A child about 2 or 3 upwards can contribute, even if they just pick up their toys off the floor. If you start at that age, they don’t think about it because it’s just a natural part of what we do. Just make sure their chores are age appropriate. Maybe your 5-year-old shouldn’t clean the wine glasses, but there’s no reason he can’t put the Tupperware away.
Choices & Contributions
Earlier this year, Graham previously talked about the idea of choices. Give your children the opportunity to make as many choices as possible so that they learn about consequences. “Would you like to set the table before dinner or clean it up afterwards?” “nope.” “Ok well, would you rather contribute to the evening meal or not eat at all?” Because that’s how the real world works, if you don’t contribute you don’t recieve.
If you refused to pay any insurance premiums, but then got into a car accident and called them up and asked them to pay for the repairs – what do you think they’ll say? So we need to teach this principal to our children as early as we can. If you don’t want to be a part of the dinner process, you don’t want to be a part of dinner. Look for connections between the reasoning byhend the chore and the consequences.