How do I know this relationship is forever?

Wednesday, March 16, 2016 3:09 pm
Reading Time: 2 minutes

That’s a question Psychologist Dr Neil Clarke-Warren gets asked a lot by couples, who want to know if they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.

So, he compiled a list: ’10 Characteristics of a healthy dating relationship’ to help them predict whether their relationship could turn into a successful marriage.

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Rob Furlong chatted about the list with Tim Long on Mornings.

1. You are each other’s best friend and you genuinely like being together.
In a survey of 300 successful, long term relationships it was shown that the matter of friendships was regarded as being the most important ingredient of all. I can speak from experience when I say that the fact that Karen and I are best friends is also the foundation stone to the success of our marriage.

2. Communication is natural, easy and free.
You feel you can tell each other anything without fear of judgement or being put down.

3. You have numerous spiritual values in common.
You have demonstrated to each other the depth of your commitment to them.

4.You both think of marriage as a lifetime commitment.
You are both firmly devoted to a permanent relationship.

5.When you experience conflict and disagreement you are able to work it out.
You don’t let the issue simmer beneath the surface.

Podcast: Tim Long with Rob Furlong on Mornings

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6.You love to laugh together.
You are entertained by each other and you share a sense of humour about the things in life.

7.You feel thoroughly known by your partner.
You feel cared for: you can be yourself and still be loved, warts and all!

8.Your family and friends seem genuinely supportive of the relationship.
That is, the people who know you best and whom you trust the most are confident about the relationship.

9. You feel romantic about each other much of the time.
But: you feel comfortable and content with each other almost all of the time.

10. You have a relationship that feels sane, safe and stable.
You have a sense of a solid fit between both of you at many levels.

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