Relationships aren’t always smooth sailing. In fact, they almost always have seasons that are rough, and others that are wonderful. A lot of these things are out of our control, and some of them are within it. Today, Pastor Phil Ayres from Kingdomcity is talking us through how to bounce back from these rocky moments.
Different trials in a relationship have different pressures that affect us in different ways. Some negative experiences happen to us, because life just happens. These are things that are out of our control. Things from an unexpected loss of income, to the tragic loss of a child for example.
Other negative experiences happen between us. These are things like conflict and betrayal. Things that happen to us result in a loss of confidence in life in general. Things that happen between us result in a loss of confidence in our relationship.
What if you don’t feel that you can trust your spouse again? Do we need trust to move forwards?
To answer the question, let’s lay the situation out in a simple hypothetical. Both parties are committed to building their marriage, even though one or both may have done the wrong thing. Sounds pretty common, but also pretty difficult. So how do we get through this?
Give trust, but go slow. Let it grow.
It’s important that the trust goes both ways again. But for one party, it may be harder to trust again. By going slowly and letting trust grow naturally, you’re more likely to be met with success.
Is it sometimes easier to just walk away? What if there’s just no bounce left?
This one has a pretty simple answer from Proverbs 13:12 BSB
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is the tree of life
Building on this a bit, here’s 4 top tips for increasing the bounce factor:
- Face it. Face your fears and address the situation.
- Mourn it. Grieve what has been lost. Allow yourself to feel the feelings associated with happened.
- Learn from it, or learn to love it. If what’s happened can be learned from, do it. If not, learn to love the changes.
- Move on from it, or grow with it. Don’t hang around in victim-ville!
For all of Ps. Phil’s top tips, check out the podcast below: