Hitched: Beyond forgiveness

Tuesday, May 28, 2019 5:28 pm
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Pastor Phil Ayres from Kingdomcity joins Mel and Jeziel in the studio to share wisdom on marriage and relationships. Phil has a passion for growing strong families, and is a goldmine of knowledge and advice. Phil says his passion stems from enduring many difficult years of marriage. After weathering the storm, his marriage is now stronger than ever, and he loves to share his expertise on forgiveness.


Forgiveness is an incredibly important theme for navigating not only life, but marriage as well. Marriages have the greatest potential for intimacy, but also the gretest potential for hurt. That’s why it’s key to recognise when and how to forgive.

The reality is that nobody is beyond forgiveness, and there are some very practical steps you can take to forgive someone. Pastor Phil noted that the verse Isaiah 43:25 is a great resource, no matter which version you read:

NIV: I even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more

EXB: I am the one who erases all of your sins for my sake; I will not remember your sins

MSG: But I, yes I, am the one who takes care of you sins – that’s what I do. I don’t keep a list of your sins.

NLT: I will never think of them again

Let’s take a look at those in order.

The NIV translation emphasises choosing to forget. You have the poswer to choose what occupies your heart. Expanded references the meaning of ‘remember’ in the hebrew language. It tralslates to “I will never bring it up again”, which reinforces the idea of not only choosing to forget, but never bringing it up even if you do recall it. The Message points out that one should not be keeping a list of transgressions, OR achievements. Finally, the New Living Translation ties it all together and emphasises that it should not rule your thoughts.

So with that in mind, here’s a 4 point list to release someone from a debt they owe you:

  1. Make a choice. It doesn’t happen on its own
  2. Don’t keep an internal record. No points scoring!
  3. Don’t bring up the past once it has passed. Stay focused on the issues at hand
  4. Rule the thoughts that come about as the result of hurt feelings

To hear all of Pastor Phil’s tips on forgiveness, check out the podcast below:

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