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Pastor Phil Ayres from Kingdomcity joins Jeziel in the studio to share wisdom on marriage and relationships. Phil has a passion for growing strong families, and is a goldmine of knowledge and advice. Phil says his passion stems from enduring many difficult years of marriage. After weathering the storm, his marriage is now stronger than ever, and he loves to share his expertise on marriage, relationships, and strategy.


I can hear you now; “A battle strategy? For a marriage? This isn’t a war!” That’s true, it’s not. but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a strategy. Dianne Sollee, founding director of  the coalition for marriage and family says it best:

We finally know what’s different about couples that stay happily married. It’s not that they are better matched, better looking, more in love or more passionate. It’s not that they have fewer differences or less to fight about. In fact successful couples have the same number of disagreements as couples who divorce. Even more interesting, research shows that all couples disagree about the same basic issues – money, kids, sex, housework, in-laws, and time. The difference between successful and unsuccessful couples is how they handle these differences.

So the trick is making sure that you stay together in navigating the good things AND the difficult things in life. Teams that have a strategy to win run rings around teams that just have a desire to win.

What’s the difference between strategy and desire?

In almost every marriage, both of you have the desire to be successful. But desire alone will always have a limit. Some of the opposition you’ll come up against is stronger than pure desire, and needs a strategy to overcome. Strategy involves planning, discussion, problem solving, and delegating roles.

For all the tips on strategy, and how to determine the best one for YOUR relationship, check out the podcast below:


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