Graham Irvine from Riverview Church tells us, not only do we as a parent have a personality style and not only does our partner have a personality style as a parent, but our kids have their own personalities. Over the last few weeks, Graham has been discussing the different personality types as categorised by Florence Littauer, in her book Personality Plus.
There’s a copy for couples and a copy for parents, Graham highly recommends this book.
Today Graham and mike are exploring the powerful choleric. This personality is the easiest to recognise. “As soon as they can stand, they get up in their cot, look through the bars and say ‘whether you like it or not, I’m here to take over’. ”
If I went to Baskin & Robbin’s,
and took my kids who all had different personality types, I would do it like this. The sanguine, would be easy they’re just happy to be going and eating ice cream, they’ll be happy with anything you buy them. The Melancholy, I’ll have to help them because he’ll want to consider all 3o flavours because he’s worried he won’t get the best possible flavour. For the choleric, before I even mention ice cream to the kids, I’ll look up the menu, choose what size, cone or cup and 5 flavours I know she’ll like and then let her choose out of those options. She wants to have the ultimate say, I have to let her have that opportunity to control to make her happy but it has to be within my framework of boundaries. Then I would prepare myself to negotiate because the choleric loves to negotiate.
These traits aren’t negative, the choleric will be the one who leads their school clubs, sets goals, always wants to achieve more. Which will make them great children, but you have to live with it 24/7! So you have to set boundaries for them to have choices to satisfy their personal needs.
Now if you have a choleric personality and your child is a choleric … there is going to be clashes. The choleric parent is often more the authoritative type. We all know that you can’t say “just do it my way” to some children, so you have to negotiate.
Just remember, they’re not ‘disobedient’ because they hate you or they are just bratty etc. It’s just their personality types.
Graham Irvine recommends Danny Silk’s book “Loving your Children on Purpose” for parenting this personality type.