There used to be the belief that you were born with a certain set of abilities and a certain intelligence and that was limited. But now research tells us that our abilities, skills and intelligence can be developed through trial and error and hard work.
Jodii Macquire from Think! Performance Psychology gives us 3 tips to help our kids (and even ourselves) to build resilience:
- Add the word yet. At times our kids will say “I can’t do this” but it’s important they learn “I can’t do this…yet”. This will help them understand that with practice and effort they will develop that skill or that will pass that test. We must get into the habit of saying things like “I know you can’t do it yet, but I think you will if you keep trying.”
- Learn from practicing and failing. The first step is to say, “you can try again next time” or “I think you’ll get it soon”, but keep deepening the conversation. Ask them what they could try differently, how could you solve this problem? What did you learn? Discuss the failure.
- Tell them inspirational stories of failure and perseverance. They may be your own stories, or from the family or famous stories.
These are simple tips we can put into practice daily or weekly, over the dinner table or in the car on the school run!
Thanks to Jodii for her insight, listen to the short 5 minute segment below.