Amanda Viviers | 98five bloggers
It’s funny when the word brave arrives in the stratosphere, we can start to heave from the pressure. The word itself is laden with images, meaning, and innuendo. A catch cry for our generation for adventure and success.
When researching this word, I found brave means:
“to show courage” and “to endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviours without fear”
I personally struggle with ‘people pleasing’ and avoidance issues when it comes to pain. If something involves conflict with people or when pain arises my brave leaves the building.
However, I have realised lately the one thing that has been frustrating my sense of happiness and satisfaction is resolve. There are many parts of our world we can’t resolve, but there are some things we can bring resolve to and when they are completed it is like the happy endorphins flood.
When we bring resolve to some of the dialogues hiding in the back of our minds, something shifts. Our brave story brings perspective and we are moved into a new space.
Book those appointments we have been putting off
The dentist scares me, I think about the fact I need to book a dentist appointment often. I have written it on my task list, I have it written on the bottom of my family calendar and I ignore it. This year, I am telling myself that I need to be brave about booking those appointments I’ve been putting off. You know those appointments. They have come straight to your mind as you are reading my words. The pap smear, the mammogram, the skin check and, the worst, the dentist. Every time we prioritise the urgent over the important it impacts our future. What if we together make a commitment to book those appointments we have been ignoring?
Have that conversation we have been hiding from
Lately, I have been thinking about a conversation I need to start with someone but have been putting off. Have you ever had that incessant inner dialogue? We can so easily put off the painful to skip conflict but you know what the emotion resurfaces in other places. This year, let’s be brave together and start conversations that matter.
Begin that project we have been procrastinating on
Yesterday I began chapter one of my next book. I often have people ask how to write a book. My answer is often very simple. Begin. And if you get stuck, ask for help. Each of my four books came chapter by chapter, day by day, edit by edit. Coffee after coffee. Last night, I was chatting with my husband about my book writing. It was a vulnerable, open moment where I admitted, “Babe, I have come to the place where I know my writing is not a best seller. In fact, there are many parts of my precious publications that I feel embarrassed about. But I am in the arena. I am having a go and I am daring greatly”. No one will ever say of my life, that I didn’t have a go. What are you waiting for?
Ask a friend for accountability
One of the most exciting parts of my new rhythm for this year is the accountability group I have set up online. Each year I retreat with people and we talk about change, goals, disappointments and regrets. The year goes by and I have only been able to catch up with a small few regularly to see the progression of these goals. This online group I have opened up to all of my clients this year is probably the most exciting thing I have done in years. It is an encouragement circle that helps the group move forward. Who helps you be accountable for the brave steps you need to take in your life?
Write down the list of things we have been wanting to change but haven’t been willing to admit
Are their hidden whispers of ideas that stay hidden in your heart? One of the greatest ways to be brave is to put those ideas on paper. To meet up with someone like I do with people in one-on-one sessions and write a list of things that you want to change. Admitting the quiet, hidden thoughts can be the bravest thing we ever do.
Have you ever gotten an invite to something and you have put it away, straight away, from fear?
Have you been invited to something or wanted to attend an event like the Inspire Collective — a quarterly gathering in Perth that brings people together to hang?
This year if we want to change, we need to be brave enough to show up at those events we would normally dismiss quickly out of fear.
Start the study, apply for that job and reinvent our story
This header is pretty self-explanatory but…start the study, apply for the job and reinvent the story. This takes big brave steps. Steps that often are done with fear and trembling. When we apply, when we fill in the form, we activate the shift in our the season for the change we have been waiting for. Start.
Let go of those people who drain and complain
This brave step is so difficult but we need to re-frame the spaces in our lives that drain us of our inspiration. Does that mean I think we should block, unfriend and be unkind? No. Not at all. However, we need to be strong with our boundaries and re-frame how much real estate space in our hearts. There comes a point where we need to be brave enough to say the negative dialogues are really draining and can we reinvent our friendship?
Stop the gossip
There is a part of my life I often feel very disappointed in. A regular commitment to a group of people that leaves me feeling unsure, confused and sometimes downright frustrated. I have a close friend who knows how deeply this part of my life disappoints. One thing I have committed to my friend, however, is that I will not stay in conversations that tear down and talk negatively about this community. It takes a brave soul to stop a conversation that tears down others and a big soul that is able to sit in the place of unmet expectations but keep on re-framing with grace. This year we need to stop talking about other people in ways that are difficult, mean and destructive. This brave step will honestly change your days. Walk away from conversations that are negative and destroying other people’s credibility. There is always another perspective in every single circumstance.
Speak up for those who are mistreated, forgotten and misunderstood
I am deeply passionate about humankind. There is a thread across our globe right now that is separating us into two tribes. The haves and the have-nots. Those who believe the same as we do and those who have different beliefs. This fracture runs very deep, but it will create irreconcilable damage. We all bleed the same blood. Humankind despite our colour, our preferences and our beliefs were purposed to work in unity. When we bring kindness and generosity to the fore, the world is a wonderful place. When we exclude out of fear, when we yell, conflict, war and dispute fear wins. We need to be brave this year and speak up for those who are mistreated, forgotten and misunderstood.
What do you need to be brave about this year?
Let’s find some resolve together and grow into a people who love differently.
Amanda is a writer, speaker, creative coach, wife of Charl and novice Mum to Maximus and Liberty. She’s published three books and can be found in her beach shack, writing her fourth. Her daily blog is a Christian Media & Arts Australia best digital media project award winner. Amanda is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia and is the co-founder of Kin Women; a network created to inspire women. Along with her husband, she is co-owner of surf brand, Maximus and Liberty. They manufacture surfboards, stand up paddle-boards and merchandise to fund youth surfing projects globally. Driven by a passion for social justice, Amanda loves supporting projects for children in developing countries. Teaching children to live creative lives, beyond the circumstances, is something she pursues daily. www.amandaviviers.com | Follow Amanda on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Pinterest
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